Just for everyone to know, my aunt took my grandmother to the doctor yesterday and the doctor basically said she has at the most 6 months left. He saw how out of control her emotions were and told my grandfather he should not push food on her all the time. Offer her the food at mealtimes and if she doesn't eat so be it. He said he had made a valiant effort. My Mamaw has lost 20 pounds since the last time she was at the doctor and that was a few months ago. She has lost weight every time she has gone to the doctor for several years now. She has been refusing to eat or drink a lot of the time and until yesterday my grandfather has spent 2 hours at each meal trying to coax her to eat or use tricks to get some kind of food in her. This is very hard, not that she is going to die, we have know that was going to happen for a long time now. This slow torture for her, and for us. It is so hard to watch someone you love just waste away and not even understand why themselves why this is happening. This may sound harsh to some, but we are ready for her to go to be with the Lord. We know that is where she will be and we don't want her to hurt anymore. I was thinking about all the things we had done, and I will always remember her loving me for me and her laugh. She always made me feel pretty, even when others did not. I was her dark hair beauty. When I was 10 she wrote this little poem in a autograph book for me. She wrote
"Remember me, you may, you must
as long as you can bite a crust.
And when you can no longer bite,
forget me if you think it's right."
I will never forget you Mamaw, you will live in my heart forever, just like I know even though you don't know me now, but I will live in your heart too.
Sorry this post was so sad. I just had to get it out there. I know people know that my grandmother has Alzheimer's but sometimes get the feeling they are tired of hearing about it or don't want to know about it so they won't have to face getting old themselves. I know it is more likely that I will get this because it runs in families so I have to face it. I can't let this go with out making plans for the future and my family, that way my family won't have to make all these hard decisions themselves.